Ama, who chose to remain anonymous, described a marriage that began with red flags but quickly turned violent. She said she left her husband on her 25th birthday after realizing that staying could cost her life.
The turning point came when she defended herself with a metal bar during an assault. "I ran to the bedroom, grabbed the bar that bolts the door, and struck him," she recounted. Her husband then accused her of being the aggressor, a tactic that made her see how easily he could reverse roles.
Ama explained that the abuse began with emotional manipulation—his constant questioning of her friends and insistence that she consult him on all decisions—before escalating to physical violence. She recalled being beaten for moving a television remote and for speaking back.
She said she kept the problems to herself, believing she was in love, and that the couple had a rule to keep issues inside the relationship. Only later did she realise the controlling behaviour was abuse.
After the assault, the church intervened, but both families and church leaders believed the marriage could be saved. They urged counselling and suggested she change her behaviour. Ama rejected this advice, stating the problem lay with her husband’s willingness to use violence.
She now speaks publicly to encourage others to recognise abuse and seek help. The next step is to support survivors in accessing legal and psychological assistance.
